Have You Ever Wanted to Disappear?

Have You Ever Wanted to Disappear?

By: Irish Wendy

 

As the mist settles down

Our hearts race up

You asked me to meet you here at dusk

But I was three hours late

Three hours late because

At the first hour I was completely ready

I’m done combing my hair, done powdering my face

But I didn’t bother to wear pretty clothes

For a not so pretty occasion

I spent the second hour pacing back and forth, to and fro

Battling with myself, battling with my hands not to reach out for the door and face the outside world

I arrived an hour before but I was hiding behind the sycamore tree

I watch you as you brush your hair with your fingers and exhale from a deep breath

I watch you as you raise your wrist to check on your watch

I watch your stance not die and your eyes not lie

The way you tap your feet and occasionally raise your brows

Tell me that you won’t be changing your mind

My fingertips claw on the barks of the tree

As I observe your impatience grow larger than you

For one hour I stood there

Trying to fool myself that

You are still mine, that we are still fine

 

You have NO IDEA how my heart sank when your eyes met the scared pair of mine

Blood rushed down my face as I slowly make my way out of the shadows

At that point in my life I wanted to fade away

My eyes were like ice which melted into tears

You said the words I already knew were coming

In my mind I simultaneously join you in a chorus of heartbreak

I want to run to you and hug you

But my body won’t seem to move

I want to shout your name SO LOUD

That the next planet would hear me

But my mouth won’t seem to open

I wanted to do the craziest stuff at that time

But I just couldn’t do a thing

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